Currently residing in the “Where shall we file them?”file.

I recall sitting with George while he had a rather involved conversation with a chap that I have never met before. This went on for at least fifteen minutes, and then the guy left. “Who was that?” I enquired. “No idea” replied Big G.

Tam once injured his thumb with a sharp thing, and Ian from Anaconda stood in during the healing process. Somehow the word got out that he had cut it off for a bet. This was the talk of the town, and we didn’t even have Twitter in them days!

I once had to distract no less than four females while George exited a gig. They all thought they were “the one” that evening, and none was aware of the others.

A similar problem occurred when BGB won a Battle of The Bands, there were rumours of “professional jealousy” amongst the other competitors. George made a discreet exit, but this led to mutterings about “prima donna behaviour”. There was no pleasing some people.

Having delayed the start of the second set one evening, George strolled back in to the venue. When quizzed on his whereabouts, he informed me that he had “been for a kebab”. Top that Axl Rose!

Some classic gig openers…and closers. Please excuse me if I have mentioned before.

“Good evening and welcome to Leith Dinner School”- Edinburgh Venue

“I’ve thrown up in better places than this” –Somewhere in Lahhndon

“If you’re driving home, make sure you’ve got a car”

“I’ll be sober next time unless I’m not”

In Transit

In Transit

The van that I spent the most time in was a Ford Transit. It was actually several different ones, but they were all Shifty’s Van.

My first experience was on the way to the Rockaway Day Festival in Dingwall. I didn’t know Shifty’s actual name was Tam until he joined the band, but he fitted in right away. As usual I was in the rear crew compartment, but the difference this time was that communication with First Class was possible. Large pieces of foam rubber made the travel experience more bearable.

In the ensuing years the Shifty Van become a more luxurious vehicle, with the installation of a proper “back seat” directly behind the passenger seat. I am sure there was a Glasgow bus missing a seat somewhere, but needs must.

There was even an upgrade to a slightly larger model, once belonging to piano man John Doole. Took a while to get used to the new colour, but the overall vibe was the same.

Lord only knows how many miles were covered. We went back and forth to Edinburgh, up north and down south and all points in between. The longest single journey was to Belgium and back with hardly a break . We even started the trek to Montreal in it, no limo to the airport for us lot!

Vans and trains

I’ve talked about the gigs and venues, the cast of characters and the accommodation along the way, but there’s one aspect that I haven’t mentioned.

The transport.

The first two vans were Ford Lutons, and I would mostly be in the crew accommodation (i.e the rear section). There was the odd upgrade to first class, space permitting. It was a health and safety nightmare, but we didn’t bother about legislation in those days.

Strangely, one of these vehicles was once “unavailable”.

We had played at the Preservation Hall in Edinburgh, with a show at the Venue the next night. We decided to leave the gear in the Pres and do the move the next day. As I waited for pick up, the phone rang.

It was fellow roadie Eddie Rarity, “We’ve just to go ahead and move the gear and they’ll come along later.” “OK. How are they going to get there?” I replied. “In the van” said Eddie. “ So how do we get to Edinburgh?” I enquired. “On the train” advised Eddie. “And the gear?” asked I. “No idea” was the response.

Having decided to cross one bridge at a time we got on a train to Edinburgh. This was full of U2 fans on their way to Murrayfield to pay homage, so it was standing room only.

The train broke down at Lenzie. The poor guard was being harassed something awful for information, of which he had none. Some bold souls exited the train and made for the nearby road, hoping to thumb a lift from some kindred spirits. The police were called and controlled the situation, also advising that whistling the Z Cars them at them was not a good move.

The train eventually moved, and all eyes were on the stadium as we passed by. It seemed that Runrig were still on so things relaxed a tad. On arrival at Haymarket the train pretty much emptied, and there must have been a mad dash for taxis.

Having walked up to the Pres, we considered the situation. Then the cavalry arrived. Rob Maxtone-Graham was the sound man at the venue, and a wonderful wee chap. He was even more wonderful that day as he had a van. We told him the sorry tale and he saved the day.

As we set up in the Venue, a phone call came in. It was George, “You’ll need to come and get me”. “Where are you?” I asked “The Borders” he replied. Memories of exactly where he was (Innerleithen springs to mind) and how he got to the show are dim, but it worked out OK as far as I can remember.

The back of those Lutons was pretty much a travelling pre and post gig party. The roller shutters would occasionally be opened and the road using public treated to various “performances” and the occasional cheery wave. The less said about that the better.

Watch out for the next exciting episode folks…